Gay Examination.

From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
like something Sergeant Rock would post:

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

- GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get
your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a
cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
barbecue ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko
and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in
the poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim"
and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If
you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of
dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A
real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league,
NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY
type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer,
or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le
Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films
by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous
homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they Flame
out too.


Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

--
John "not that there's anything wrong with that" Corliss BS206

In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
: From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
: like something Sergeant Rock would post:

: Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
: Caveats: NONE

: - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

: 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
: It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
: spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
: Oprah diet.

Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?

As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
be hanging around with your buddies.

--
George BS235
The "but I don't mean that in a Viking way" slug

George Pollard wrote:
> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>
> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
> : Caveats: NONE
>
> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>
> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
> : Oprah diet.
>
> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>
> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
> be hanging around with your buddies.

Hey, I didn't write it. Just passing the word along.

Have to admit to liking sweetened creamer in my coffee in the morning.
Must make me queer as a football bat I guess.

--
John Corliss BS206

On Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:53:05 -0700, John Corliss
<jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:

>George Pollard wrote:
>> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
>> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>>
>> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
>> : Caveats: NONE
>>
>> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>>
>> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
>> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
>> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
>> : Oprah diet.
>>
>> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
>> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>>
>> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
>> be hanging around with your buddies.
>
>Hey, I didn't write it. Just passing the word along.
>
>Have to admit to liking sweetened creamer in my coffee in the morning.
>Must make me queer as a football bat I guess.

Nooo, I don't think so.
Maybe transsexual but not gay. <g,d&r>
--
Bob Mann

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you
aren't getting any

"George Pollard" <george@hiwaay.net> wrote in message
news:13d88lit2qa01d2@corp.supernews.com...
> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>
> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
> : Caveats: NONE
>
> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>
> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
> : Oprah diet.
>
> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>
> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
> be hanging around with your buddies.
>
> --
> George BS235
> The "but I don't mean that in a Viking way" slug
>

It may be as simple as the change of one word...
Your not gay if you hang around WITH your buddies.
Your gay if you hang around IN your buddies.

Bob Mann wrote:
> On Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:53:05 -0700, John Corliss
> <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>
>> George Pollard wrote:
>>> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>>> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
>>> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>>>
>>> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
>>> : Caveats: NONE
>>>
>>> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>>>
>>> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
>>> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
>>> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
>>> : Oprah diet.
>>>
>>> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
>>> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>>>
>>> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
>>> be hanging around with your buddies.
>> Hey, I didn't write it. Just passing the word along.
>>
>> Have to admit to liking sweetened creamer in my coffee in the morning.
>> Must make me queer as a football bat I guess.
>
> Nooo, I don't think so.
> Maybe transsexual but not gay. <g,d&r>

As one of my friends was wont to say, "I'm trisexual... I'll try anything"

even putting sweetened creamer in my coffee.

--
John Corliss BS206

On Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:50:26 -0700, John Corliss
<jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:

>Bob Mann wrote:
>> On Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:53:05 -0700, John Corliss
>> <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>>
>>> George Pollard wrote:
>>>> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>>>> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
>>>> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>>>>
>>>> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
>>>> : Caveats: NONE
>>>>
>>>> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>>>>
>>>> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
>>>> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
>>>> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
>>>> : Oprah diet.
>>>>
>>>> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
>>>> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>>>>
>>>> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
>>>> be hanging around with your buddies.
>>> Hey, I didn't write it. Just passing the word along.
>>>
>>> Have to admit to liking sweetened creamer in my coffee in the morning.
>>> Must make me queer as a football bat I guess.
>>
>> Nooo, I don't think so.
>> Maybe transsexual but not gay. <g,d&r>
>
>As one of my friends was wont to say, "I'm trisexual... I'll try anything"
>
>even putting sweetened creamer in my coffee.

As long as you're not buysexual.
--
Bob Mann

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you
aren't getting any

Bob Mann wrote:
> On Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:50:26 -0700, John Corliss
> <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>
>> Bob Mann wrote:
>>> On Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:53:05 -0700, John Corliss
>>> <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>>>
>>>> George Pollard wrote:
>>>>> In rec.motorcycles.harley John Corliss <jcorliss@fake.invalid> wrote:
>>>>> : From my friend, who retired from the army as a master sergeant. Sounds
>>>>> : like something Sergeant Rock would post:
>>>>>
>>>>> : Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
>>>>> : Caveats: NONE
>>>>>
>>>>> : - GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...
>>>>>
>>>>> : 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
>>>>> : It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
>>>>> : spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
>>>>> : Oprah diet.
>>>>>
>>>>> Here's where you lost me. If you spend time with other men, you're not
>>>>> gay, but if you don't spend time with men, you're gay?
>>>>>
>>>>> As a comedian once said, if it weren't for the sex, being gay would just
>>>>> be hanging around with your buddies.
>>>> Hey, I didn't write it. Just passing the word along.
>>>>
>>>> Have to admit to liking sweetened creamer in my coffee in the morning.
>>>> Must make me queer as a football bat I guess.
>>> Nooo, I don't think so.
>>> Maybe transsexual but not gay. <g,d&r>
>> As one of my friends was wont to say, "I'm trisexual... I'll try anything"
>>
>> even putting sweetened creamer in my coffee.
>
> As long as you're not buysexual.

You always buy sex, even if you're married.

--
John Corliss BS206

"John Corliss" wrote...
>
> You always buy sex, even if you're married.

You're not paying for the sex, you're paying
them to leave (or at least leave you alone).
--
Arie- Jax, FL - BS#70 - LFS#3 - SENS
'82R100-'83 FXWG-'06 GSX600F

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